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- The
most common problem
is that many people have DIFFERENT HOME/SHIPPING addresses
from their BILLING address and either forget, or do not
think it matters. IT DOES!!! For your protection, we use
something called AVS (Address Verification Service) which
verifies that the BILLING information you provide is the
same as your credit card provider has on file. MANY PEOPLE
forget that their billing address (the address that their
credit card bill actually gets sent to) is different.
If someone has moved in the last couple of years OR gets
their mail forwarded to them, this is probably the culprit.
AVS (Address Verification Service) will NOT allow the
transaction to go through unless the Billing address AND
zip code match. If you do not know what address your credit
card company has on file, call them and ask (the phone
number is most likely on the back of your credit card).
- Please
Note: If you make several attempts at placing an order
with the improper Billing Address information, this could
trigger your credit card company's fraud control. At the
very least they will temporarily deduct the attempted
transaction amount from your available credit, and possibly
even turn your card off.
- The
SECOND most common problem is entering an inappropriate
SHIPPING METHOD
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Most
problems with international ordering attempts stem from
the customer not choosing the correct UPS SHIPPING METHOD.
Make sure that either Worldwide Express or Worldwide
Expedited are chosen (the difference is that worldwide
express is quicker and more expensive)
ALSO
make sure the correct country is chosen, otherwise the
zip code will be rejected.
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If
after filling in your correct information such as shipping
and billing address if you receive an error code instead
of a confirmation that the transaction was approved, check
three things first: That your zip code is correct, that
your shipping method is appropriate for your shipping
address, and that you have chosen the appropriate country.
The
Error codes "only accepts five digit zip code"
or "invalid shipping method" are usually
generated because the customer lives OUTSIDE of the US
and has chosen the incorrect shipping. Make sure to enter
the correct country and appropriate shipping method
"Invalid
e-mail address"
Usually a result of the customer giving a false or incomplete
e-mail address: NOTE: e-mail address is important because
the customer will receive an e-mail confirmation of order,
receipt, as well as the UPS tracking number. Without the
correct e-mail address, the customer will not be able
to track the package because customer will not receive
the receipt with the invoice number.
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What
about Microsoft Programmers?
A Microsoft
Windows programmer died.
He found himself in front of a committee that decides
whether you go to Heaven or Hell.
The committee told the programmer he had some say in the
matter and asked him if he wanted to see Heaven and Hell
before stating his preference.
"Sure," he
said, so an angel took him to a place with a sunny beach,
volleyball, and
rock and roll, where
everyone was having a great time.
"Wow!" he exclaimed. "Heaven
is great!"
"Wrong," said the angel. "That
was Hell. Want to see Heaven?"
"Sure!" So
the angel took him to another place. Here a bunch of
people were sitting
in a park playing bingo
and feeding dead pigeons.
"This is Heaven?" asked
the Windows programmer.
"Yup," said
the angel.
"Then I'll take Hell." Instantly he found himself
plunged up to his neck in red-hot lava, with the hosts
of the damned in torment around him. "Where's the
beach? The music? The volleyball?" he screamed frantically
to the angel.
"That was the demo," she
replied as she vanished
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This
obviously depends on the shipping method chosen; all packages
are sent UPS and for an exact time-in transit, customer
can go to www.UPS.com.
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The credit card statement will only say Holy Spring Water Company,
LLC, if someone inquires what exactly was purchased, they
will only say "cosmetics" or "nutritional
supplements". It should in no way disclose the specific
nature of the product
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Almost with 100% certainty you were not, but people sometimes
think they were charged more than once. More than likely,
you probably were not. Did you make one or more FAILED attempts
at processing an order? Every time you attempt to process
an order, even if it fails, (because you put the wrong corresponding
zip code or shipping method etc.), the credit card company
"authorizes" your credit card for the full amount.
This is not a charge, only a reduction of the available
credit. Depending on your specific credit card, the authorization
should disappear automatically within 3-30 days. If you
have any specific questions regarding these authorizations
and when they will disappear, please call your credit card
company. Rest assured, you were only CHARGED for the transaction
that was fully processed.
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If
you take the tracking # (sent to you by e-mail when the
package was processed) and enter it on the tracking page
at www.Holy
Spring Water™/ups_track.htm or www.UPS.com,
you will be able to see where it is in transit and when
the expected delivery date is. In some cases, you may
also need to input the shipping zip code as well. If you
have any questions or problems with tracking your package,
please contact customer service at customer
service@Holy Spring Water™.com.
Please
note, it usually takes one (1) full business day from
your purchase before the tracking number is available
in the UPS system.
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No, you may not pay by check however you may use your checking account's bank card, if it has a Visa or Mastercard logo on it. you may enter the bank card information instead of credit card information on the last page of the shopping cart.
Note: Only available to US customers
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What
happens to Bill Gates?
Bill Gates dies and is sent to hell.
Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been
waiting for you.
This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big
liar all your life.
Now, since you've got me in a good mood,
I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked
up forever.
Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are
tormented and tortured.
He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased
about and devoured by starving lions.
Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a bottle of the finest
wine sitting on a table.
To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner. Without hesitation, Bill says "I'll
take this option."
"Fine," says
Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill.
As he turns
around, he bumps into Lucifer. "That was Bill Gates!" cried
Lucifer.
"Why did you give him the best place of all!"
"That's what everyone thinks" snickered Satan. "The
bottle has a hole in it!"
"What
about the PC?"
"It's got Windows 95!" laughed Satan. "And
it's missing keys,"
"Which
keys?"
"Control,
Alt and Delete."
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Can
I use this product to convert Jews?
A
Jewish man moves into a Catholic neighborhood. Every Friday
the Catholics go crazy because, while they're morosely
eating fish according to the strict order of things, the
Jew is outside barbecuing steaks.
So the Catholics work on the Jew to convert him. Finally,
by threats and pleading, the Catholics succeed.
They take the Jew to a priest who sprinkles holy water
on the Jew and intones:
"Born a Jew Raised a Jew Now a Catholic."
The Catholics are ecstatic. No more delicious, but maddening
smells every Friday evening.
But the next Friday evening, the scent of barbecue wafts
through the neighborhood.
The Catholics all rush to the former Jew's house to
remind him of his new diet.
They see him standing over the cooking steak. He is
sprinkling water on the meat and saying:
"Born a cow Raised a cow Now a fish."
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No, in order to keep prices low and maintain efficiency
we only process orders electronically. Our processing server
is 100% secure and encrypted, and your information is guaranteed
safe. By today's standards it is very difficult for an unauthorized
person to see any of your information. If we had to process
orders manually we would have to raise our prices, and we
want to keep the products affordable to everyone. If you
still feel uncomfortable because you are unfamiliar with
online purchases, you may call the Order Hotline at 866-475-4424
and an operator will take your order over the telephone.
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Returns
We
are trying to break the "dot com" mold. Of the
thousands of products we have sold, we have only had a handful
of returns. Our goal is to make our customers happy. Aside
from your satisfaction, we guarantee that the product to
be free from defects, that it will be shipped
promptly, and that you receive excellent service.
Finally, and most importantly, that if you drink our water
and follow the directions carefully, we guarantee that
you will NOT GO TO HELL.
Satisfaction
Guaranteed
We
are so confident that you will be satisfied with
our products,
we offer a 30 day money back guarantee. If if when
you receive your product if you are unsatisfied you
may return the unused
product to us for a refund of the product's purchase price.
We want you to be happy with our products and services and
recommend us to your friends. We will do anything we can
to make you, our valued customer, satisfied, by either issuing
a refund or replacing the item free of charge, whichever
you choose based on the circumstances. Please note: We obviously
cannot replace or exchange a product AND issue a refund,
it's "either or", not both.* Note: A $5.00 dollar
handling charge will be applied against the credit of the
product's purchase price for each product returned.
Instructions
for returning a product:
In
order to receive a refund, the product must be returned
to Holy Spring Water™.com.
Product should be returned in original box. Be sure to
repackage with care to insure against breakage/damage.
Any box that we receive that is damaged will be discarded
and a refund will not be processed.
In
the box with the product please insert the return
form with all required information filled out and
signed. The return
form MUST be included in the box.
Mail the product to:
Returns Department
Holy SpringWater.com
(God knows the address)
We
suggest that you mail it to us return receipt requested
and insured, however we will accept any type of delivery
service such as Federal Express or UPS etc.
Although
returns are processed immediately as received, sometimes
it takes a while for your credit card company or bank to
credit your account. Please allow 2-4 weeks for the credit
to show up on your next statement.
Instructions
for exchanging a product:
Please
e-mail customer service at customerservice@Holy Spring
Water™.com
and include your name, order number (your order number starts
with a one and three or four 0's i.e. 10001234 or 10000345)
and product you wish to exchange or replace.
Or,
simply call toll free 1-866-555-1212 and ask to speak to
the customer service department, they will be glad to assist
you (exchanges only).
Please
note: all exchanges are shipped UPS ground, please allow
1-7 days for delivery. Exchanges for orders outside of the
continental United States may incur additional shipping/handling
charges.
*Please
note, due to the nature of this product we can accept
returns
of products that have been to hell, or show evidence of
having a spell cast over them. We reserve the right
to refuse
a refund in the event we believe the product has been touched
by an evil spirit. If we refuse a refund based on our
belief
the product has been tainted, the product will be shipped
back to the consumer, at the sole cost to the consumer
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